Fellowship

What I love most about being integrated into my church family is the community and fellowship it brings. It’s authentic. It’s real. Tangible and vulnerable.

We were speaking about this recently at our last connect group session how often church has a negative connotation. Appearing boring, not reflective of the reality of our day to day and raw struggles that we face. What I’m so thankful for is that I don’t live in that realm anymore of thinking that my negative views of the church are somehow reflective of how my practice should just surrender. That’s honestly the position that I was in years ago. No church home, not really feeling like I belonged anywhere. How could my purpose be tied into a community of believers that are doing life like I am, while still having realness; no judgment, extending grace and being open and honest about this forever curve ball life throws. Stepping into serving, not by force but by the will and drive to get deeper into community. Not just sitting in a pew being an observer but being an active member of the body. One of the best things Leighton and I could have done was join Shoreline. A decision that came so naturally to him but for me needing a bit more contemplation. Leighton was incredibly encouraging (as always) and gave me the space that I needed to really make a decision that wasn’t tied to anyone or anything.

For the first time I was choosing to develop further into my Faith. A choice not to be taken lightly. A choice that I needed to ensure I made in the right way by no other conviction than my own. I’m so thankful that I have a partner that encouraged this and wanted me to grow. So I prayed and I didn’t just attend or sit in a pew. I met people. Lots of them. Heard their stories. Went to a SHINE (aka Cultivate, a women’s conference we host yearly) on my own. I remember so clearly how overwhelmed with emotion I was the night of the conference. Taking notes like a madwoman hearing so much gold that was spoken that night by strong women of the Lord. I honestly had the desire to be like these amazing women but often felt like I would be judged for wanting to live in an image that did feel so foreign at times. By the end of the conference, I knew I made my decision. Finally, choosing the place where I felt like I could grow, be planted, and stretch myself further into what I felt like God has calling me towards.

Looking back is important. Reflection is vital. I’m a firm believer that we are daily living out our ultimate testimony. My goal is to never leave this world with regrets. I don’t want to be stagnant in my growth; especially in my Faith.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to freely live in community with such genuine people that are not about conforming or being “seen” but just living a life trying our best to reflect the image of Christ. I’ve learned so much in this season of starting a connect group with Leighton. It has strengthened us as a couple to lead together in so many different ways and challenge us to go deeper without knowing what the whole picture would look like. If anyone would show up. If anyone would like us. So much self doubt and worry but at the end when we said, “yes,” even without knowing what was beyond that affirmation, we were blessed with 12 people that are now our forever friends. I heard a saying once. You may come in limping but the goal is despite everything, to walk out whole. I can say for the both of us, we have never felt more whole.





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